Movies Forever Stuck on My Watchlist
My watchlist is ridiculous. It stretches about a mile long (that’s 72 celsiuses for the rest of you) and since we all know I'm not watching any of these anytime soon, I figured I should at least write about them. Maybe this will rekindle my interest and finally get me to watch them. At the very least, this list might serve as a recommendation for the three of your reading it.
Ne Zha 2
Ne Zha 2 Trailer
Ne Zha 2 Letterboxd
I watched the first Ne Zha last year and loved it, easily the best animated film I’ve seen since… I don’t know, Kubo and the Two Strings? Coco? The only reason I haven’t seen the sequel yet is because it doesn’t look like it’s getting a physical release, despite the first movie getting a 4K UHD. I know nothing about this movie because I don’t want anything spoiled. Apparently it got a lot of BL fan art in native China, which was promptly censored by the government. That’s all I know, and makes me want to watch it even more. Nice try, Winnie.
The previous movie ended in obvious sequel bait, but the preceding movie was so good I didn't mind. I have a feeling anyone reading this hasn't seen it, so I don't want to spoil it. I'm very interested to see where they go next, because I did not see what they cooked up coming.
Fucktoys
Fucktoys Trailer
Fucktoys Letterboxd
Some movies need to speak for themselves. In Fucktoys, a young woman goes to see a psychic who tells her that somebody placed a curse on her, so she goes on a wild adventure across the country selling her body to raise the $1,000 to break the curse, which sounds totally legit. Most of her clients are assholes, but there’s one dude who’s, well, maybe 'nice' is a bit much, but he’s not terrible. That’s about as good as you can hope for these days.
This is an indie, micro-budget film and all it took was watching the trailer to convince me I had to see it. It’s fun, campy, trippy, and beautifully shot and acted. From all the reviews I’m seeing its writer/director/lead Annapurna Sriram is a star in the making.
It Was Just an Accident
It Was Just an Accident Trailer
It Was Just an Accident Letterboxd
Iranian director Jafar Panahi went to jail in 2022 for criticizing the Iranian regime. He wasn’t allowed to make any more films, but made It Was Just an Accident in secret before fleeing the country. It’s since gone on to win numerous awards and might be the best film of 2025, if Hollywood can stop touching itself to Leo for five minutes. Panahi’s previous film, No Bears was also filmed in secret, and is on my 2026 backlog of films I plan on seeing soon.
It Was Just an Accident is about a young married couple who are driving one night when the husband hits and kills a dog. He goes to a nearby town to make repairs to the car, but the man who works at the auto shop recognizes his voice and kidnaps him. The driver was a prison interrogator who beat and tortured the auto mechanic. I watched Jon Stewart’s Rosewater in 2014, and thought it was okay, the book was better. This movie should do a much better job with a similar subject matter.
Mr. Vampire
Mr. Vampire Trailer
Mr. Vampire Letterboxd
A recommendation from my favorite YouTuber Accented Cinema, Mr. Vampire looks like a bizarre horror comedy about two undertakers who lead Chinese vampires (jiangshi) to their final resting place. One of the vampires escapes, kills a child here or there, and hijinks ensue. This is apparently something of a cult hit in the West and was hugely popular in China, spawning a bunch of sequels. It kind of reminds me of Dead Talents Society, which I watched last year and loved. I’m not big on horror, but horror comedies always seem to tickle me the same way Leonardo DiCaprio tickles Hollywood snobs.
Whisky
Whisky Trailer
Whisky Letterboxd
Whisky is a dry Uruguayan comedy about Jacobo, who’s long lost brother Herman has suddenly reappeared. Jacobo runs a sock factory, and feels like his life is pretty miserable and uninteresting. Looking to impress Herman, he fabricates details about his life, and sets out to find a wife. He sets his sights on Marta, an employee at his factory. She says no, but is able to convince her to pretend to be his wife for a meeting. Queue hilarity.
I don’t know much about this one, I only discovered it last year when I was looking for films from around the world. One of my resolutions this year is to watch more “foreign” foreign films. The trailer and description sounded like something I’d like, so on the list it went.
Pulgasari
Pulgasari Trailer
Pulgasari Letterboxd
Pulgasari would be the strangest movie ever made if it weren’t the last in a string of similar films.
Believe it or not, in the 1970s, North Korea kidnapped a South Korean film director (Shin Sang-ok) and his actress wife (Oh Soo-mi), and forced them to make propaganda movies for North Korea. Shin’s last film (Oh wasn’t involved in this one) before the two escaped is also his most well-known, Pulgasari. It’s based on Korean folklore, where a baby monster is brought to life by the drop of blood of a girl, and it then grows by eating metal. It helps peasants revolt against an evil monarch and demands a meal of metal with each win. The monster keeps growing until it becomes gigantic, helping them beat the monarch, but becomes an even worse evil, demanding to be fed constantly or it will kill the peasants at random.
So to recap: this is a Godzilla rip-off, made by an abducted South Korean film director for North Korea, and its international screening gave he and his wife a chance to escape. Some say its a legitimately good movie, some classify it as so bad it’s good. Either way… come on. How could anyone not want to watch this?
Good Boy
Good Boy Trailer
Good Boy Letterboxd
It’s going to be hard to top that, but I think this one does. Good Boy is a horror movie staring a dog. This isn’t animated. The dog isn’t CGI or AI. It’s a real dog. Todd is a guy with cancer or something, very sad, sure. Indy!, a very good boy! and a Nova Scotia Duck Tolling Retriever!, realizes that their new home is haunted and undergoes a mission to save Todd and defeat the monsters haunting the home.
Beyond the novelty, this is apparently a legitimately great film, winning awards and praise from critics. I love dogs and I love true, 100% real documentaries such as this, so I’m excited to see it. Indy, the director’s dog, gets top billing and apparently he’s great. As if there was any doubt. He even won an award. A real award with a prestigious history, beating out Elijah Wood and Alison Brie. The internet is largely pissed, but something tells me if it were a cat they'd love it.
African Kung-Fu Nazis
African Kung-Fu Nazis Trailer
African Kung-Fu Nazis Letterboxd
Okay, hear me out. I watched a video from Accented Cinema about this movie. At first I thought this was a problematic “joke” of a film. But by the end of the video, I was convinced this would be a great movie. African Kung-Fu Nazis is made by German-born, Japanese-based filmmaker Sebastien Stein, who plays Adolf Hitler.
You’re going to want to sit down for this. Hitler and Tojo somehow survived the end of World War II and together fled to Ghana where they’re brainwashing locals into joining a new army. This new army being black people in white face. For some reason, they set up a kung-fu tournament before setting out to reconquer the world. Our hero Addae joins the tournament to avenge his master and kill Tojo and Hitler before they can start another war. Oh, and the movie is set in modern times, because the $20,000 budget probably wouldn’t have covered creating a whole bunch of period appropriate sets and costumes.
Stein admitted he came up with the idea when he was drunk, but from what I’ve seen, this movie is more than a joke. It’s an earnest satire that does a fantastic job making fun of Hitler and Nazism. As Accented Cinema said, the best way to show nazis isn’t to depict them as scary bad guys, but to make fun of them and laugh in their faces. And it has an all African cast and crew (apart from Stein and Yoshito Akimoto as Tojo).
The Pope’s Toilet
The Pope’s Toilet Trailer
The Pope’s Toilet Letterboxd
As you can no doubt tell from this list, I am a sophisticated man with a love for very serious movies. So we head to Uruguay once again to watch The Pope’s Toilet.
The Pope, whom people allegedly care about, is set to visit a small village in Uruguay. The people in town are excited, and preparing to sell fruits and other things people sell at Pope parades. Beto has a better idea: set up a pay toilet and charge everyone, including the Pope, to use it. That’s all I know about the movie, and frankly, that’s all I need to know. On the watchlist it goes.
You know, I’m coming to understand that Uruguay is a fascinating country. They were the third Latin or South American country (Brazil, Argentina) to recognize same sex marriage, the second (Cuba) to legalize abortion, and the first country period to legalize recreational marijuana.
The Lure
The Lure Trailer
The Lure Letterboxd
What if Disney’s adaptation of The Little Mermaid was a about two mermaids coming to land to work at a strip club so they can murder men? Keep the musical numbers, but add a thin layer of grime and blood. Or maybe not so thin. From Polish director Agnieszka Smoczyńska, The Lure is probably her best known work, but she’s an award-winning filmmaker who’s made dozens of films and TV shows.
I can’t begin to describe how bizarre this film looks, on a list of films that’s otherwise has been quite normal and tame. And of all these films, this might be the first I watch. It got a swanky Criterion release, so that’ll be the version I go with. It’ll be my first Polish film, too, so… Z deszczu pod rynnę!
Please, consider supporting me on Ko-Fi
